Driving when you have CFS/ME

Took me a long while to realise this one... driving is tiring when you have CFS/ME!

Driving tips from @Chronically.Andrea

If you've been driving for years (like me) you may be oblivious to the effects of driving on your chronic fatigue symptoms. It may seem like a subconscious activity ... you barely even think about changing gears or indicating, but it's a very cognitive-heavy activity.  Your mind is busy looking out for potential hazards, moving your legs to push the peddles, moving your arms to know when to and how to change the gears, mirrors, indicating, travelling at speed - so much going on at once, and so much you need to do all at the same time.

I'm a confident driver and never really worried about driving. But I have noticed and learnt from having #cfsme that it can be extremely overwhelming. And for me, the feeling of being overwhelmed is a slippery slope down to exhaustion and crashing. Driving is a cognitive task, a physical task... and then add on to that, two kids screaming in the background, plus Google Maps yelling directions, plus the radio on ... Plus whatever mayhem is happening on the roads around you! Each one of these sounds is competing for cognitive attention (and therefore energy) and can leave your already stressed body, overwhelmed and fraught. You'll find yourself out of breath and sweating at the traffic lights, or screaming at the kids to shut up when they aren't doing anything wrong!

Tips for driving when you have CFS/ME

But how do you not get to the point where you are feeling overwhelmed and freaking out in the car! Here are my tips:

1. Be aware that driving is an activity in itself. It's not a means to get somewhere, it's an actual 'activity' and therefore needs planning and allowing appropriate energy (which hopefully you have!).

2. Look at Google Maps before you start your journey. Have an idea of where you are going, so that you aren't trying to frantically work out which junction to get off the motorway, stress yourself out and miss it!

3. Think about turning off the radio. It may seem boring at first. But the radio is just one more thing competing for your attention and adding to the feeling of overwhelm.

4. Pause and breathe at the traffic lights. Sounds barmy, but if the traffic lights are red, you've got a moment to take a deep breath and check in with yourself that you aren't getting overly stressed. Look at the sky... just be in the car, and make a conscious decision to stay calm.

5. Have a bottle of water and a snack with you. Basic care for yourself - staying hydrated and fed, will allow your body to not get overly stressed and be able to cope in the car. (Seriously, I've found myself sitting in traffic, boiling hot, sweating, rapid breathing - thinking 'If only, I'd brought a bottle of water with me!).

6. Always give yourself way more time than you need, adding the feeling of feeling like you are late is just going to stress you out, and add to the fatigue levels later on from being stressed!

7. If you have kids in the car, and they are old enough to understand, explain to them that we don't scream and shout when we are in the car. My kids have now gotten used to this new rule... after I found myself freaking out and pulling an emergency stop because one of them screamed (because they'd dropped their raisins... not because of some road safety threat).

8. If you do get into road rage, take the space to acknowledge that this is more about the other drivers' level of overwhelm rather than your own. If you did cut them up, apologise, there is no need to waste precious energy engaging in a screaming match (even if it was their fault and they are an ******).

Try it out. Turn the radio off. And just drive. 

Tips for being a passenger when you have CFS/ME

Failing all that. Get someone else to drive you, take an Uber, get a lift... understand that this is currently out of your baseline and that you will recover enough to drive yourself shortly.

However, being in the car, when someone else is driving poses a whole new set of circumstances which can be tricky for those who get easily overwhelmed and exhausted with CFS/ME. So, here are some more tips from me on how to be a passenger:

• Bring with you water and a snack. You might not need it, but sitting in the back of a hot, stuffy car will impact your body and fatigue you further - stay hydrated.

• Appreciate that the speed the car is travelling is providing an enormous amount of stimulation for your brain, which may take its toll on your levels of fatigue. If you need to sit in silence to feel calm and not have to concentrate on a conversation as well as everything going on around you, tell your driver you'd prefer not to chat, and ask the driver to turn the radio off.

• If you need to stop for a break ask ... don't push on, and push through. Chances are your driver will be happy to stop for a pee too!

• Try to only get in the car with drivers you trust. Sitting in a car, worrying about your safety, totally on edge, will just stress you out (and make your fatigue worse! Stress is tiring!).

• If you know you sometimes feel overwhelmed as a passenger consider some noise-cancelling headphones. I feel very anti-social when I do this, but sometimes I need to get from A to B and I know that being in a car with my noisy kids with my hubby driving will be too much. I whack my headphones on, breathe and concentrate on being calm and secure. (Again, avoiding stress is a must if you want to heal from your fatigue - but I can write a whole blog post on this at some other point!).

• And the same as if you are driving, make sure you have enough time! Don't feel like you have to be rushed and stressed. It's a waste of that precious energy.

And, one final thing, if you do find yourself in a stressful road situation, whether it's a horrible crash (G-d forbid), a near miss, or just a minor emergency break, that's made your heart rate rise... recognise this and actively take the time to CALM DOWN! CFS/ME bodies are stressed out, permanently wired bodies... the feelings you get from an adrenaline rush from being in a potential (or actual) road situation will take their time to evaporate and need you to actively sit, breathe and take stock and take the time to calm yourself, your mind and your physical body down.

TRAVEL SAFELY, LOVELY READERS!